October 2011
2 posts
Walt Disney World (Behold the Awesome)
It’s time to flip the coin on Disney World. On Monday, I discussed the stuff that was lame…believe me, the good far outweighed the uncool…no contest. I loved me a whole lot of Disney. From the food to the rides, ‘the Dis’ truly is the happiest place on Earth. Need proof? Examine the Awesomeness!
5. The Electric Light Parade + Fireworks = AWESOME
I have...
Walt Disney World (People/Things that I Loathed)
Hi all! I just returned from a week in Walt Disney World with my family! You know it’s gonna be an awesome Vacation when the WDW staff has the foresight to put me (a complete pop culture Nerd) in The Might Ducks wing of the Hotel! Seriously, is there anything better than reveling in the stories of Charlie Conway, Adam Banks and the Bash Brothers while sleeping on Might Ducks blankets?...
September 2011
13 posts
F U EMMYS!
It is absolutely terrible that Steve Carell has never won an Emmy for his portrayal of Michael Scott. The Emmy people had a chance to right their wrongs by honoring Carell in his final year. Unfortunately, they didn’t. The SOZ honor Steve Carell today and always. Also, we will never watch the Emmys again!
Knee Cheek Friday: Smackdown Hotel
Welcome to Knee-Cheek Friday! We do not condone violence…unless it is in a humorous nature. These are all nominations sent to us by the Sons of Zabka followers. With no further interruptions; Here is a list of 5 people or things that deserve a knee to their cheek for being stupid this week.
5. Taylor Lautner
Wow! The untalented Twilight Werewolf is headlining a Major Motion Picture...
New England Patriots: The Movie
We at the Sons of Zabka hold many things near and dear to our hearts; Family, Movies, Beer, old Saturday Night Live episodes and of course Football! Watching an NFL game and watching a movie are actually a similar experience. You sit down with your snacks and watch a 2-3 hour piece of entertainment. In most cases you either leave satisfied (that’s what she said) or extremely disappointed...
Midweek Musical Musings
By Dave D
Welcome to a new feature at Sons of Zabka: Midweek Musical Musings. Each Wednesday our resident musician and lover of all things aural Dave D will post semi-organized musical related nonsense. Sometimes it will be lists, sometimes it will be articles, sometimes it may be original compositions. On thing is certain: y’all better get some Q-Tips to clean to funk out your ears after...
America's Greatest Patriotic Heroes (Fictional)
My friends,
We have compiled a list of the Greatest Patriotic Fictional Characters of all time. That being said, we know that America’s real heroes are Firefighters, Police Officers, Military personnel and Mothers…but, I think we can all use a good laugh today and that’s what the SOZ are all about. Enjoy it!
10. Optimus Prime
We all know that trucks are awesome! This...
2 tags
Reflections on Lessons of 9/11
By Dave D
I’m going to leave the in-depth analysis to the political scientists and historians. We all have friends, family or other loved ones (as well as self) who were greatly affected by the 9/11 attacks whether they be in the military or rescue workers or everyday New Yorkers and I’m not going to add to the loving and voluminous tributes that have already been posted by writers...
Knee Cheek Friday: Break Yo Self Fool!
Welcome to Knee-Cheek Friday! We do not condone violence…unless it is in a humorous nature. These are all nominations sent to us by the Sons of Zabka followers. With no further interruptions; Here is a list of 5 people or things that deserve a knee to their cheek for being stupid this week.
5. Farrah and her Mom (Teen Mom)
Oh My God! They are easily the two most annoying people on TV....
Entertainers We Loathe: Justin Bieber
Yes…I know…the SOZ have caught a lot of flack lately for featuring only women on Entertainers We Loathe…fear not my friends…we are going after a teenager this week! Our sincerest apologies to fans of Justin Bieber.
In the realm of child stars, Justin Bieber probably ranks between Donny Osmond and Scott Baio. I’m sure you are all thinking…real cool guys!...
Knee Cheek Friday- Hurricane Irene Edition
Welcome to Knee-Cheek Friday! We do not condone violence…unless it is in a humorous nature. These are all nominations sent to us by the Sons of Zabka followers. With no further interruptions; Here is a list of 5 people or things that deserve a knee to their cheek for being stupid this week.
5. David Arquette
It’s been a rough year for David…he got dumped by his hottie...
August 2011
14 posts
Greatest Monkeys Ever!
With the recent success of “Rise of the Planet of the Apes”, Monkeys (and members of its various species) have been brought back center stage into America’s consciousness. It got me thinking…you know…Monkeys make everything better and more fun. Here at SOZ, we would like to salute these cute, lovable, complex creatures and bring you our thoughts on the Greatest...
Entertainers We Loathe: Helen Hunt
Welcome to Entertainers We Loathe. Simply put, we will give our opinions and reasoning as to why we can’t stand certain people in the Entertainment Business. These are all opinions, but if you believe differently…you’re wrong.
O-ver-Ra-ted, Clap, clap clap-clap-clap! Helen Hunt is a highly decorated actress who (based on your feedback) is a very unlikable gal. Best known for her 4-time...
Happy Knee-Cheek Friday: In your stupid face!!!!
Welcome to Knee-Cheek Friday! In the simplest terms; Here is a list of 5 people who deserve my knee to their cheek for being stupid this week.
5. Any woman named Irene
It looks like everyone’s weekend will be ruined thanks to Hurricane Irene! Any woman that brags that a Hurricane was named after them deserves the rain, wind and clean up that will accompany this pain in the ass...
Who's Better? Marcia Brady or Billie Jean Davy
Over the past 50 years, I believe there have been only two true Female Role Models: Hillary Clinton (First Lady, Secretary of State, Monica Lewinsky Survivor) and Claire Huxtable (successful African American Lawyer, Mother and Wife)…just kidding…LOL…everyone knows that The Cosby Show sucked once Rudi grew up and Theo started teaching inner city youth…also, watching Bill...
A Plea to Kelly Kapowski: Zack is Trouble!
Jen, the First Daughter of Zabka, writes a heartfelt letter to Kelly Kapowski warning her of all the evils that come with marrying Zack Morris! So heartbreaking…but so true!
Hey Kelly,
Listen. I know things have been rough between you and Zack for a while, and as your friend, I want to address some of the concerns you brought to my attention. -His gambling and scheming. An addiction...
Entertainers We Loathe: Britney Spears
Welcome to Entertainers We Loathe. Simply put, we will give our opinions and reasoning as to why we can’t stand certain people in the Entertainment Business. These are all opinions, but if you believe differently…you’re wrong.
Oh Britney…how far have you fallen? As we all know, Brit was once the Princess of Pop. She released her first album with the jail-bait anthem,...
Knee-Cheek Friday- Check yo' self!
Welcome to Knee-Cheek Friday! In the simplest terms; Here is a list of 5 people who deserve my knee to their cheek for being stupid this week.
5. Kevin Smith
It was announced that Kevin Smith’s final film ‘Hit Somebody” will be split up into two movies…Hey Kevin, no one cares! Smith’s good movies (1994-2006) work best as 100 minute comedies full of curse...
Who's Better? Teen Wolf or Jimmy Chitwood
It is time we tackle the serious questions that plague the minds of those of us who watched too many movies in the 80’s. The SOZ will be taking a not so serious look at certain comparable characters from classic films to decide “Who’s Better?” In this episode we discuss Teen Wolf and Jimmy Chitwood (Hoosiers)…arguably the two greatest Basketball players to ever...
Entertainers We Loathe: Julia Roberts
Welcome to a new SOZ weekly segment entitled: Entertainers We Loathe. Simply put, we will give our opinions and reasoning as to why we can’t stand certain people in the Entertainment Business. These are all opinions, but if you believe differently…you’re wrong.
Julia Roberts
Like every other person on the planet, I loved Julia Roberts in Pretty...
Happy Knee-Cheek Friday!!!
Hello all,
Welcome to Knee-Cheek Friday! In the simplest terms; Here is a list of 5 people who deserve my knee to their cheek for being stupid this week. Seriously…I want to do this.
5. Bai Ling
Congratulations Bai! You are the breakout star of Celebrity Rehab! Probably not the words you want to hear if you’re an actor.
4. Ryan from Teen Mom
“Hi, I’m famous...
We Hardly Knew Ye, Bubba
A quick and dirty look at the career of Charles Aaron “Bubba” Smith.
By Dave D
First overall pick in the 1967 NFL draft. One All-Pro and two Pro Bowl slots in nine seasons. Starting defensive end on the 1970 Super Bowl champion Baltimore Colts. All American twice at Michigan State, who retired his jersey. Member of the College Football Hall of Fame.
But the most important number produced by...
What if Harry Potter was a 1980s Mini-Series?
In the movie Back to the Future part II, Biff Tannen takes a sports almanac from 2015 and gives it to his 1955 doppelganger, creating an alternate time line where he became richer than he could ever have imagined. Cute idea, but I have a better one. With my time circuits on and my Flux Capacitor…ummmm…fluxing, I set forth to re-write movie history Harry Potter style. Through the...
July 2011
4 posts
Fantasy Football Fictional Character Draft
Thank God! Football is back in effect for 2011! The Sons of Zabka love all things Football…especially Beer, Cheerleaders, Tailgating and Beer. That being said, we also love Football Movies. Dave D and Kippah have tasked themselves with creating the greatest ‘Fantasy’ Football team comprised of characters from Football related Movies and TV Shows.
THE RULES;
1. Only one...
2 tags
Movie Review - Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
By Joe Santoro
So I went to see the early 11 am showing of Transformers Dark of the Moon and I must say I went in expecting the same Michael Bay TF movie that has been churned out before. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised. Honestly this was the better of the three in the franchise. Not to say that it did not have some unnecessary casting and that it was about a half hour too ...
Top Ten: Awesome Obscure Characters
Their screen time may be limited, but their performances (good or bad) have stayed with me long after my first viewing. They are not the hero, the villain, the best friend or the love interest….just random obscure characters with not much to do. They do not add any significance whatsoever to the plot. Why do I enjoy these random fringe characters? Why is it that I think of ‘Amazing...
Tyler Perry Presents: 90210
Back in the early 90’s, if you looked up “appointment viewing” in the dictionary, you would have found a picture of Jason Priestley, Luke Perry, Tori Spelling and the rest of the 90210 gang. It was the guiltiest of guilty pleasures. Even today, I am transported back to 1991 whenever those magic guitar riffs boom out of my flat screen. Picturing myself wandering the halls of West Beverly High,...
June 2011
8 posts
Top 10: Worst Performances by a Child Actor
Am I being mean? These kids are thrust into the spotlight at an early age. They are waited on hand and foot on Movie sets. They go through life with an ‘I’m better than you’ attitude. They make outrageous money before they hit their teens. Yeah…I don’t feel bad for berating them here. Screw them.
Dishonorable Mention: Michael Oliver- Junior- Problem Child
...
Ali: Karate Kid's Real Villain
I’ve seen “The Karate Kid” 7924 times. It is one of those films from my Youth that continues to re-enter my life (and my DVD Player). As a kid, I once faked being sick just to stay home and watch KK on HBO. You did things like that if you were a movie geek in the 80’s. The TV Guide was my constant companion. Since 1984, I have memorized its dialogue, overanalyzed the...
Oscar Robbery or Why the Academy Awards are...
The town cars and limos pull up. The nominees arrive. Billy Bush, Joan Rivers and Perez Hilton elbow there way to the front to ask the all important question; “who are you wearing?” The beautiful people answer with a fake smile and a condescending ‘you are so beneath me’ look. It’s Oscar night! We watch to see if our favorite actor finally get’s the gold statue. We watch to...
A Return Letter to my 13 Year Old Self...
As you all may remember; due to a disturbance in the universe, I was able to share correspondence with my 13 year old self from 1989. George (from 1989) sent me a nice letter requesting updates from the future. http://sonsofzabka.tumblr.com/post/5572531635/a-letter-from-my-13-year-old-self-seriously Far be it for me to deny my young self this information; I obliged by sending the following...
May 2011
6 posts
2 tags
Mario Lopez Exclusive Expose
By Dave D
Well, not really an expose. Kyle Higgins, one of our myriad stealthy SoZ operatives, snapped these photos of ex-Saved By The Bell star Mario Lopez on the set of Extra in Los Angeles this afternoon. Much thanks to Mr. Higgins, who also wormed his way on camera so look for a sexy six-foot-two half Phillipino-half Irish dude from Braintree on your teevee. Big ups to Kyle for providing the...
The Best Movie Montage Ever! (Fan Vote)
There is a basic formula a Director must follow in order to see their dreams become a reality up on the silver screen; 1. Have a good script. 2. No ugly people. 3. An awesome nude scene. Well…something like that. However; there is a secret weapon in a Director’s arsenal that must be used cautiously and smartly. When used correctly, this weapon can take the audience on a 5 minute...
A Letter from my 13 Year Old Self (seriously!)
Guess what!?! I participated in a self improvement workshop. By design, I was supposed to re-connect with my inner-child through different activities. I was tasked to write a letter to my 13 year old self. In this letter, I offered tidbits about the journey that brought me (us) to my (our) current life. What I never expected was to receive a response from my 13 year old self!!!! There was a...
Michael Scott's 'Office' Replacement???
‘The Office’ is one of my all time favorite TV Shows…that being said; Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell) is my all time Favorite TV Character. For the past 6 years I laughed at his lack of self awareness and chuckled at his stupidity. 6 years…wow…’The Office’ was like my girlfriend…we had a date every Thursday night and I always left feeling...
Top 20 Comedic Characters of the 90's!
Due to the response and feedback that the Sons of Zabka received regarding the top Comedic Characters of the 80’s list, I now offer the sequel…here are the top 20 Comedic Film Characters of the 90’s. However; two new rules were added. Only one character per film can be represented (no one wants to see a list featuring the entire cast of ‘Dazed and Confused). Also; only...
35 Most Awesome Movies of the 90's
By Kippah
Seeing how the “Most Awesome Movies of the 2000’s” list was so much fun to do (and really enraged quite a few folks), I have decided to do one for the 1990’s. Remember; this is a list based on movies (released from 1990-1999) that have thoroughly entertained me. So cut me some slack. It’s a mere opinion. You will be surprised to see that certain critically acclaimed flicks...
April 2011
12 posts
Whatever Happened to Predictability? A look back...
I was 11 years old in 1988. Unless you were Drew Barrymore or one of the two Corey’s, you weren’t exactly going out on Friday nights, snorting Coke and hanging at The Viper Room. If you were a somewhat normal kid like me, Friday nights were spent in front of the TV watching thoroughly entertaining yet family friendly half hour sitcoms. Remember those? Well what ever happened to predictability?...
Bad Coaching Decisions in Sports Movies
There are certain unspoken rules that a Sports Movie must adhere to. 1. An Underdog team/or individual who no one believes in will inevitably make a run at a Championship. 2. There will be a fantastic montage (underscored by a cheesy pop song or a classical orchestrated piece of music) showing the team’s improvement. 3. A Star Player will either get hurt and/or taken out of the game under...
1 tag
Musical Cheese Check
Ramblings on Some of The Cheesiest Songs/Videos of All Time…
By Dave D
Sad songs say so much, Sir Elton John taught us. He also taught us that gay men apparently transmogrify into lesbians as they get older. Honestly, he and Billie Jean King could be sisters at this point.
Sad songs possess inherent loquaciousness, yes, but a truly cheesy song paints a picture that a thousand sad songs...