The Monster Squad: A Tale of Dracula, Kids and Nards

A Recollection by MATTIE CAT

1987. The Minnesota Twins win the World Series, Hulk Hogan slams Andre The Giant, Al Bundy graces our homes for the first time, and at the movies Freddy Krueger battles The Dream Warriors, Dolph Lundgren struggles with the English language as He-Man, and we find out for the first time that, yes, Wolfman has nards.

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I’ll say something right off the bat. I think The Monster Squad is better then The Goonies. This has lead to many arguments with friends, usually alcohol fueled, that have almost ended in fist fights. So if you’re one of those people that already have their blood boiling, then this blog piece probably isn’t going to be for you. Because as much as I like The Goonies, I am unabashedly in LOVE with The Monster Squad.

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Tourney Time!

Optimus Prime or Megatron…they both suck!

Recently I was up late and caught The Transformers…not the Michael Bay movie(s)…not this latest Cartoon Network iteration…but the “original” 80’s cartoon.  Just as it started, my 7 year old daughter came downstairs noting that she could not sleep. So being the fine father I am, I figured a midnight showing of some Autobot ass kicking was completely appropriate. 

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Sean Astin: Perhaps the Greatest Actor in History (his 10 Best Films)

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Sean Astin is the voice of my generation…sorry Kurt Cobain.  For the 35-40 year old demographic, Astin’s career serves as a timeline of our own lives…from our adventurous childhood spirit in chasing Pirate Treasure to the time we dug up a frozen caveman and enjoyed Pauly Shore…His incredible work has gone surprisingly unnoticed by critics…but not by the SOZ.  Here is the creme de la creme of the man who made the dungaree jacket/jeans outfit the hip thing to wear in 1985.

The Ten Best Films of Sean Astin:

10.  Like Father Like Son

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Astin comedically matches the incomparable Dudley Moore and the religious Kirk Cameron pound for pound in one of my favorite 80’s “switcheroo” flicks….actually it’s a distant 3rd behind Big and Vice Versa.  Astin is the typical wise cracking best friend who inconveniently (or in this case conveniently) spills brain transference syrum into the Bloody Mary of a confused Dudley Moore causing him to switch bodies with his son (Kirk Cameron in his finest feature film).  Astin is the comedic gem in this one, shifting from Cameron’s BFF to Moore’s underage compadre seamlessly.  

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Walt Disney World (Behold the Awesome)

It’s time to flip the coin on Disney World.  On Monday, I discussed the stuff that was lame…believe me, the good far outweighed the uncool…no contest.  I loved me a whole lot of Disney.  From the food to the rides, ‘the Dis’ truly is the happiest place on Earth.  Need proof?  Examine the Awesomeness!

5.  The Electric Light Parade + Fireworks = AWESOME


I have been to WDW 5 times and had never experienced the Electric Light Parade.  I had seen pictures and watched videos…but it was always raining the night that I wished to attend….until 2011!  The fam and I parked our stroller in front of “Ye Olde Christmas Store” (a store that sells Disney Christmas stuff year round)…this secured us a sick view of the parade.  It was unreal.  From Goofy driving the lit up train to the blinking lights of Cinderella’s pumpkin…I was truly in awe.  Then all of a sudden, Elliot the dragon arrives with Pete in tow.  Are you kidding me?  ’Pete’s Dragon’ has always been one of my faves…I was so happy that WDW decided to utilize Pete and Elliot for the parade.  Of course Pete seemed a little frightened when I pronounced my love for him in a scream…but I didn’t care.  After the parade, the fam and I started walking down Main Street USA and were stunned when the most incredible fireworks display this side of the Boston Esplanade began.  It was one of those evenings that I won’t forget anytime soon.

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Walt Disney World (People/Things that I Loathed)

Hi all!  I just returned from a week in Walt Disney World with my family!  You know it’s gonna be an awesome Vacation when the WDW staff has the foresight to put me (a complete pop culture Nerd) in The Might Ducks wing of the Hotel!  Seriously, is there anything better than reveling in the stories of Charlie Conway, Adam Banks and the Bash Brothers while sleeping on Might Ducks blankets?  Absolutely not!

Aside from enjoying the hell out of my vacation, I observed several things/people that I found quite odd and/or stupid.  I am here to share these with you!  

5. Miss Bunny


So my daughter was running around getting autographs and taking pictures with all of the characters.  I am digging it big time, because my kid is so happy…until we happen upon Thumper (who I recognize from ‘Bambi’) and another Bunny.  We wait in line for a few minutes and get the picture and an autograph.  I nod politely to the Bunnies and take off.  I immediately turn to the autograph page and see the fresh ink of Thumper and ‘Miss Bunny’.  Are you kidding me Disney?  First off…who is Miss Bunny and why is she a featured character in Animal Kingdom?  Was Pete’s Dragon unavailable?  Secondly, you couldn’t come up with a better name? Miss Bunny was the best you could do?  Sorry, it was aggravating.

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Here it is…the scene that should have clinched an Emmy victory for Steve Carell.  Thank you Emmys for being stupid.  Still not bitter.

Another reason why Steve Carell should have won the Lead Actor Emmy…Hilarious Acceptance Speech!  I guess the Emmys don’t like people being entertained!  Yup….I am still bitter!

F U EMMYS!

It is absolutely terrible that Steve Carell has never won an Emmy for his portrayal of Michael Scott.  The Emmy people had a chance to right their wrongs by honoring Carell in his final year.  Unfortunately, they didn’t.  The SOZ honor Steve Carell today and always.  Also, we will never watch the Emmys again!

Knee Cheek Friday: Smackdown Hotel

Welcome to Knee-Cheek Friday!  We do not condone violence…unless it is in a humorous nature.  These are all nominations sent to us by the Sons of Zabka followers.  With no further interruptions; Here is a list of 5 people or things that deserve a knee to their cheek for being stupid this week. 


5. Taylor Lautner


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